I wish I could hold you one more time. I remember so clearly how your little head fit into my hand. I wish I had held you longer. I wish I had kissed you more. I wish I could be in that moment where the world stood still and it was just you and me. It was only a few minutes, but it was ours.
Today I printed out all the pictures I have of you to put in your baby book. I've spent all day looking at all the pictures of you--picking which ones I want in your album, scanning in the ultrasound so I can keep them on better-quality paper. They're spread out in what would have been your room.
Looking at them makes me miss you more. I wish your life wasn't summed up in a handful of 4x6's. I wish I had more to hold than an empty blanket. I wish you were kicking inside of me, counting down the days until you came.
I wish.
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I'm right there with you. Our time with them was too short and the memories are too few.
ReplyDeleteLove to you as you remember your son and work on his baby book.